


A Feeling I Just Can't Shake

by awesomecherry



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Coming Out, Established Relationship, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 20:03:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4933465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomecherry/pseuds/awesomecherry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky's sick of seeing Steve's face splashed across posters for the anti-equality movement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to tumblr, this is my take on Steve and Bucky coming out to the media, inspired by the conversation happening on Ipoiledi's page.

Ever since they broke the news to the world that James Buchanan Barnes was back from the dead, and better than ever in Bucky’s modest opinion, Bucky’s felt like he’s been under some sort of house arrest. Spacious house arrest, granted, being that he lives in Avengers Tower with Steve and the rest of the rag tag team Steve’s somehow wrangled together, but house arrest none the less. 

It’s unintentional, a safety precaution more or less, because the paparazzi have been staking out the tower and every building within a few square blocks waiting for the chance to hurl questions at whichever superhero they happen to come across. And no one wants to see the inevitable blow up between an angry Bucky Barnes and an overzealous reporter. 

Pepper, Maria Hill, and a grudging Natasha had all advised Bucky to stay as far away from any camera and/or reporter as possible. He hasn’t been briefed on the opinions he’s allowed to give or what issues he’s supposed to pretend he knows nothing about, they tell him. Better to keep out of the public eye, they assure him. It chafes. 

But what really gets to Bucky, is the fact that he has to sneak around with Steve, similar to the way they had to back in 30’s. When he does get a day pass to leave his prison ( _“it’s not a prison, Buck! Stop making it sound like I’m your warden or something”_ ), it’s always on the condition he dress incognito ( _“This isn’t a spy movie, Bucky. We just don’t want to be hounded by the press.”_ ) and that he not draw attention to himself and Steve. 

Bucky’s not ashamed to admit that in this new era where people can’t be arrested for loving someone of the same sex, he wants to take advantage of it and show Steve off a little. He’s sleeping with arguably the best looking guy on the planet, possibly the universe, and he has to keep it a secret. Can’t hold his best guy’s hand in public, has to listen to Steve dodge dating rumors during press conferences. It’s eating away at him. 

While Steve’s out doing his whole heroic thing, kissing babies, making appearances at children’s hospitals, promoting charities, the usual, Bucky indulges in his favorite pastime: trolling social media to find out what people are saying about Steve. If he’s especially cranky, he anonymously comments on the threads that are less than respectful towards Steve. He’s been banned from using his real name when he virtually eviscerates assholes via social media after a near scandal involving the judicious use of threats of immediate violence. 

He’s seen a lot of shit on the internet. People are quick to post their opinions about everything, from how the Avengers handled the Chituari attack to whether Captain America is anti-vaccines or not, because they feel safe. Bucky likes to make people remember that they are talking about real people and that they aren’t spouting their ignorant and unsolicited opinions into a void. 

Bucky likes to remind people that when they talk shit about Steve Rogers, there’s a distinct possibility that Bucky Barnes is on the other end of the computer screen. And that it’s ridiculously easy to find out where they live. 

He’s doing the world a service, really. Keeping people accountable. 

There’s a lot of shit people ascribe to Steve based on nothing more than the idea of Captain America. Captain America is pro-guns in the eyes of the NRA and the right wing conservatives. Captain America is anti-abortion. Captain America is pro this and against that in the eyes of the media, and all without anyone ever asking for Steve’s actual opinion. 

Bucky can deal with a lot of it, because as Natasha had painstakingly explained, the media can say whatever the hell they want and the general populace will believe it. But the one issue Bucky can absolutely not stand to see Steve’s face on is the anti-gay movement. 

Bucky can confirm, intimately, that Steve is not straight. And yet, he’s on the posters for every one man/one woman campaign, he’s seen people with signs and shirts that say _Captain America didn’t fight for this_ during debates on marriage equality. To the people of America, Captain America is the face of traditional values. 

It makes Bucky sick. 

The latest instance of Steve being used a prop in the argument against equality is at the protest of the woman in Kentucky who refused to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples. While watching a video of the protests, Bucky spots the iconic _I want you_ poster with Steve as Captain America but at the bottom it says _To let Kim Davis go free!_

Bucky’s seething by the time Steve gets back from whatever charity work he’d been doing. Steve hasn’t even shut the door when Bucky starts in. 

“Did you know they’re using your face on anti-gay posters?” 

“Well hello to you too.” Steve drops his keys in the bowl by the door, shrugs out of his leather jacket. 

“Did you?” Bucky crosses his arms over his chest and stares Steve down. He’s having a hard time believing Steve knows and has done nothing about it. It’s not in Steve’s nature. 

Steve grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge, pops the top, and downs half of it in one swallow. He looks as uneasy as Bucky’s ever seen him. “Yeah, I knew. It’s one of the first things they warned me about when they defrosted me. 70 years is a long time for people to make up opinions about what Captain America believes.” 

“And you just let them get away with it?” 

“I didn’t want to. I tried fighting them at first, when I started using the internet more, but now-“ Steve shrugs. “I guess it’s just not my top priority.” 

“I can’t believe this.” Bucky drags a hand through his hair, befuddled. “You’ve never let a thing go in your life. But you let this go? I am talking to Steve Rogers aren’t I? Same guy who was definitely not acting very straight last night when he was sucking my –“ 

“Alright, alright I get it Buck.” Steve holds his hands up in surrender. He drops down on the couch, suddenly looking much older than he did earlier. When Bucky moves to stand in front of him, he stares at Bucky with pleading eyes until Bucky gives in and sits next to him. 

“Look, I have to pick my battles.” Steve curls into Bucky’s side, hiding his face in Bucky’s chest. “It would draw a lot of attention my way, fighting with them over the issue. I didn’t want to put the spotlight on us more than it already is.” 

“You mean you didn’t want to put the spotlight on me.” 

“The last thing you needed was to be harassed by the media about our relationship.” Steve says after a moment, confirming Bucky’s statement. “I give a lot of money to equal rights charities and gay teen shelters, though I know that doesn’t make up for it.” 

“I can handle a little harassment from the media, Stevie.” Bucky sighs, tugging at Steve’s hair gently. “We don’t have to hide anymore. I don’t want to hide anymore.” 

Steve turns his head until he can see Bucky’s face. He gives Bucky the soft, proud smile Bucky’s always craved the most. “Well then, I guess we better make an announcement.” 

“We don’t have to make it right this minute, do we?” Bucky waggles his eyebrows at Steve. “I can think of a few things I want to do first.”


	2. Chapter 2

“We should talk to the Avengers” 

Bucky sighs into Steve’s shoulder, still trying to catch his breath. “Why, you thinking they’d be up for an orgy?’ 

Steve swats at Bucky’s ass, moans when it shifts Bucky’s cock buried in him. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” 

“Obviously, I didn’t do a good enough job of fucking your brains out, if you want to talk about your team.” Bucky pulls out of Steve and rolls over on his back. “What are we supposed to talk to them about?” 

“Well, you want to come out, dontcha? If we’re going to do this, we should at least tell the team first.” 

So that’s how Bucky finds himself in the communal living room, surrounded by Steve’s team, watching Steve verbally tap dance around the issue. 

Maybe Bucky should feel bad about the red creeping over Steve’s cheeks and down his neck. But honestly, Bucky’s an old fashioned kind of guy. If it were up to him, their coming out would involve posting a picture of them kissing (or more if he could talk Steve into it) on the internet and letting social media take it from there. 

Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be an option. 

Steve’s got a list of reasons a mile long why they have to go through the proper channels. _“I’m part of a team, Buck. The backlash could affect us all. It’s not fair to do this without telling the others first.”_ and _“I’m a public figure. There are certain expectations placed on me. You understand that, right?”_

Just because Bucky understands doesn’t mean he agrees. But he’s always been a pushover when it comes to Steve, and if Steve says this is what they have to do, then it’s what they’ll do. 

Doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy watching Steve suffer a little first. 

It’s not like they were hiding their relationship from the team on purpose. It’s just that Steve has always been a private kind of guy, keeps his cards close to his chest when he can. And Bucky, well Bucky, had maybe been enjoying all the virgin jokes Stark had been throwing Steve’s way, if only because he got to privately laugh over the fact Steve hadn’t been a virgin since 1939. Bucky oughta know. He was there. 

Bucky crosses his arms over his chest, stares at the team menacingly over Steve’s shoulder while Steve stammers over his words, hemming and hawing, until Bucky finally takes pity on him, and announces, “What Steve’s so eloquently trying to say is, we’re fucking, and we want to announce it to the world.” 

Steve flushes from the tips of his ears all the way down under the collar of his shirt. 

Bucky knows intimately just how far down the blush travels. 

“That was not at all what I was going to say.” Steve glares at Bucky over his shoulder, just as the rest of the team seem to take in Bucky’s words fully. 

“I KNEW IT!” Tony yells, hoping off the couch to turn and point a finger at Bruce. “I told you, didn’t I? Where’s Pepper? She owes me ten bucks.” 

“You bet on whether we were in a relationship or not?” Steve asks at the same time Bucky says, “You’re not as dumb as Steve said you were, Stark.” 

“Bucky!” Steve throws his hands in the air, exasperated. “I never said he was dumb.” He turns to Tony. “I never said you were dumb.” 

Tony scowls and sits back down. “See if I get you something nice for Christmas now, Capscicle.” 

“Don’t call him that.” 

“Enough!” Steve sighs, dragging a hand roughly through his hair. “We’re getting way off track.” 

“Aw, Steve, it was just getting interesting.” Natasha smirks. 

Bucky catches her fist bumping Clint out of the corner of his eye. 

“So you all are fine with the news? You’re fine with us announcing our relationship to the World?” Steve asks. There’s a tiny amount of worry leaking through his calm tone. Bucky wraps an arm around his waist in support. 

“Of course we are, Cap.” Clint offers. 

“You should not hide such a glorious partnership.” Thor says. 

“We’ll support you in whatever you think is best, Steve.” Bruce smiles. 

“Can you repeat the question? I think I’m too dumb to understand such large and complicated words.” Tony snarks, ducking the swat Bruce aims his way. 

“I think the general consensus is that yes, we’re fine with your relationship, and we’re fine with you telling the world. What I want to know is, why now?” Natasha raises an eyebrow, looking beautiful and deadly. 

Steve shrugs, gives Bucky a quick smile. “Maybe I’m just tired of letting people use my face as a symbol for their hate and ignorance.” 

There’s silence for a few seconds while everyone takes that in, and then Tony says, “Maybe it’s because their sex tape got leaked, and they don’t want us to be surprised when all the news can talk about is Captain America’s dick.” 

Bucky smiles when Tony has to dodge all the pillows aimed his way. 

∞ 

Three days later, Bucky finds Steve watching the recap of their earlier press conference. The Avengers had showed a united front, happily acknowledging Steve and Bucky’s relationship and openly showing their support. 

The rest of the world hadn’t reacted as well. 

“Why are you watching this again, Steve?” Bucky drops on the couch next to Steve, tugs the remote out of Steve’s lax fingers, and changes the channel. “You shouldn’t torture yourself like this.” 

It’s no use, of course. Almost every channel is talking about Captain America coming out of the closet. 

“Fox News suggested I be court martialed.” Steve answers, dead pan. “CNN is hosting a poll on whether I should have the shield taken from me, now that I no longer represent American ideology.” 

“Because there are so many super soldiers that can replace you.” 

“That’s not the point, Buck.” Steve stands abruptly, starts pacing the confines of their living room. “The Smithsonian is considering taking down the exhibit.” 

Bucky lets Steve pace, watches him with wary eyes until Steve’s shoulders slump, and he stops to stare at Bucky, defeated. 

“I knew it would be bad, but-” 

Bucky gets up, and pulls Steve into a hug, feels Steve melt into his embrace. “Steve, you’re a hero. Sometimes that means doing the right thing, even when other people think it’s wrong.” He smoothes a hand through Steve’s short hair. “Do you know that thousands of letters were delivered to the Tower today. Stark says most of them are thank you’s from gay teens and adults.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. We broke twitter and whatever the hell tumblr is with our announcement, and with people sharing their support for us. It’s not all bad.” Bucky shrugs. “So what if there’s some bad press and some people disapprove? There’s some kids out there who no longer feel alone, who’s hero not only told them it’s okay to be who they are, but showed that it’s okay too. You just gotta remember why we did this.” 

“It doesn’t bother you at all?” Steve pulls back enough to look Bucky in the eye. “What they’re saying about us?” 

“Why should it? There are plenty of reasons for society to hate me, but because I’m fucking you isn’t one of them.” Bucky smirks. “Besides, you know what this means right?” 

“What, what means?” 

Bucky gestures. “Being out to the world.” 

“That people are gonna call us names on the street, and we just made our lives about ten times harder?” 

Bucky huffs. “You’re always so negative, Rogers. No, it means-” Bucky pushes Steve backwards, pinning Steve under him on the couch. “It means we can get married.” 

“You asking me to marry you, Buck?” 

“Maybe I’m waiting for you to ask me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me on [tumblr](http://spookyscarycherry.tumblr.com/)


End file.
